A Must Watch: The TedxTalk that Inspired the Title of this Blog

In this TedxTalk, Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie discusses why all people, including men, should be feminists. She gives the definition that is the basis for this blog, that men and women should be equal. Additionally, she touches on some of the inequalities that females experience in their everyday lives. Many females will find her discussion extremely relatable, and hopefully, it serves as an eye opener to both males and females who do not see these inequalities taking place around them. 

Some discussion points:

On the negative associations with the word and concept of "feminist" --  "Feminist is so heavy with negative baggage; we hate men, we hate bras." This is precisely why it is so important to define the words "feminism" and "feminist" in today's society. Negative and misinformed stereotypes prevent the open-mindedness required for any real discussion. 

On the possible biological roots of modern gender inequalities -- The speaker notes that "men and women are biologically different," and that generally, men are physically stronger than women. Additionally, she suggests that in ancient times, perhaps men were suitable to lead, as the best leaders in society would be stronger, and thus more capable of defending their families and communities. This purely physical method of selecting for societies' leaders may have been suitable then. However, physical strength is no longer the determining characteristic of the best leader. Today's leaders need to be the most creative, intelligent, business-minded, etc., and these characteristics are not determined by gender. 

**On raising our boys and girls differently -- The speaker suggests that raising our children differently is the primary method of changing gender inequality for the future (Side note: I very much agree with this. Hasn't this always been a method of social change? It reminds me of diminishing racism over generations. What do you think?) The restrictive definitions we give our children of masculinity and femininity drive the gender inequality they experience in the future. We "stifle the humanity of boys" by teaching them to be afraid of fear and vulnerability. We constantly insist that boys prove their masculinity; we tell them to "be a man" or "man up." We associate money with proving their masculinity. The speaker suggests a better way: why don’t we teach kids it is not boys who should pay, but whoever has more money that should pay? Our restrictive definitions of femininity go hand in hand with our definitions of masculinity. "We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, 'You can have ambition, but not too much.'" We encourage them to avoid being the breadwinner in a relationship, and that they should especially avoid making it public if they are. We teach girls that in a relationship, compromise is just what females should do. The worst thing we do to girls, the speaker asserts, is we encourage them to be women for whom "pretending is an art form." Finally, "What if in raising children we focused on ability instead of gender. What if in raising children we raised them based on interest instead of gender."

**On talking about gender inequality -- The speaker addresses that one of the biggest obstacles feminists face is that many men don't actively think about gender. She notes how a person faced with another inequality, for example, an African man, can be blind to the inequalities faced by women. She touches on the many "cop outs" people use in talking about gender inequality: it's evolutionary (the apes do it!) or it's culture (she says, "If full humanity of women is not part of our culture, we must make it our culture"). These excuses need to be discarded; the first step is acknowledging that there is a problem. We must say "yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today. And we must fix it, and we must do better.”