Many people believe that the home is the "final feminist frontier." However, I believe that gender inequality in the home is perhaps one of the most if not the most important barriers women face.
One of my favorite chapters from the book Lean in by Facebook's COO Sheryl Sandberg (which Oprah calls the "new manifesto for women in the workplace") is called "Make Your Partner a Real Partner." In it, Sandberg challenges the restrictive traditional gender roles that define many households today. Some unsettling statistics she presents:
"When a husband and wife both are employed full-time, the mother does 40 percent more child care and about 30 percent more housework than the father" on average.
"Only 9 percent of people in dual-earner marriages said that they shared housework, child care, and breadwinning evenly."
"Most companies in the United States offer more time off for maternity than paternity leave"
"In the United States, only five states provide any income replacement for the care of a new baby…in three of these states, this benefit is only offered to mothers"
Clearly, "as women must be more empowered at work, men must be more empowered at home."
"When husbands do more housework, wives are less depressed, marital conflicts decrease, and satisfaction rises."
"When women work outside the home and share breadwinning duties, couples are more likely to stay together."
"The risk of divorce reduces by about a half when a wife earns half the income and a husband does half the housework."
And finally,
"Couples who share domestic responsibilities have more sex."
DISCLAIMER: Now, I understand the above does not apply indefinitely to all women and families. Part of feminism is enabling women to be able to choose what they wish to do, and enabling them to be fully comfortable with their choices. The purpose of this is not to discourage women who have the ability to stay out of the workforce and choose to do so. The purpose is to change the dynamics occurring in households where women are in unequal situations primarily due to negative social pressures. A woman who chooses to be a "stay at home mom" should be as accepted by society as a "stay at home dad," "working mom," and especially "working dad." The idea is equal opportunity for all genders, regardless of choice.
One of my favorite chapters from the book Lean in by Facebook's COO Sheryl Sandberg (which Oprah calls the "new manifesto for women in the workplace") is called "Make Your Partner a Real Partner." In it, Sandberg challenges the restrictive traditional gender roles that define many households today. Some unsettling statistics she presents:
"When a husband and wife both are employed full-time, the mother does 40 percent more child care and about 30 percent more housework than the father" on average.
"Only 9 percent of people in dual-earner marriages said that they shared housework, child care, and breadwinning evenly."
So Why Does This Matter?
Many female Fortune 500 companies say that they "could not have succeeded without the support of their husbands, helping with the children, the household chores, and showing a willingness to move." On the contrary, "in a 2007 study of well-educated professional women who had left the paid workforce, 60 percent cited their husbands as a critical factor in their decision." Well, a woman only has two hands. There is only so much that any of us, male or female, can realistically accomplish. When a woman is expected to do the majority of household and childcare work, it is just not possible that she can pursue her career goals as fully as she would be able to if she had some help.
Break Down Male Stereotypes
Now, if a woman is trying to change this dynamic, one of the best places to start is by breaking down the stereotypes that males face in regard to household work. As with male stereotypes in other aspects of life, males face a lot of societal pressure to be the "breadwinners," and that household work and childcare isn't "manly." Many males who are "stay at home dads" say that it is very socially isolating. Even employment laws encourage this harmful stereotype. For example:"Most companies in the United States offer more time off for maternity than paternity leave"
"In the United States, only five states provide any income replacement for the care of a new baby…in three of these states, this benefit is only offered to mothers"
Clearly, "as women must be more empowered at work, men must be more empowered at home."
Why Feminism Leads to Better Relationships
If the concept of equality in opportunity is not motivating enough to pursue more equal division of labor in the household among partners:"When husbands do more housework, wives are less depressed, marital conflicts decrease, and satisfaction rises."
"When women work outside the home and share breadwinning duties, couples are more likely to stay together."
"The risk of divorce reduces by about a half when a wife earns half the income and a husband does half the housework."
And finally,
"Couples who share domestic responsibilities have more sex."
Looking Forward
Let's set the stage for future generations. "As more women lean in to their careers, more men need to lean into their families." As we move toward equal expectations in the household, children, both girls and boys, can begin to change their concept of what they should contribute to their relationships and families.
DISCLAIMER: Now, I understand the above does not apply indefinitely to all women and families. Part of feminism is enabling women to be able to choose what they wish to do, and enabling them to be fully comfortable with their choices. The purpose of this is not to discourage women who have the ability to stay out of the workforce and choose to do so. The purpose is to change the dynamics occurring in households where women are in unequal situations primarily due to negative social pressures. A woman who chooses to be a "stay at home mom" should be as accepted by society as a "stay at home dad," "working mom," and especially "working dad." The idea is equal opportunity for all genders, regardless of choice.
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