Beyonce and Michelle Obama: Beyonce-ism?

The Washington Post recently published an article titled "Michelle Obama and Beyonce: Friends and feminists" that denotes them as branding an original and unique brand of feminism formed by the similar ways in which they handle their family, work, and their feminist ideologies. As the article rightfully mentions, having two African American women as feminist icons is something to be proud of in terms of progress in the feminist movement. Of course, this has received a lot of backlash, and the article itself brings up common criticisms these women face in the eyes of feminists. For example:

-Can Beyonce really be feminist when she exploits her sexuality for her career?
-Michelle Obama put her career on hold to be "Mom-in-Chief" as she puts it--is this feminist?
-Beyonce is married to a rich and successful male who has consistently exploited women in his music
-Michelle Obama is only notable for being married to a successful man, what has she really done?




While all of these arguments may be justifiable…I propose a counterargument. Is it helpful to anyone to tear down these women who proclaim themselves as feminist--which, as we know, is rare enough? I firmly believe that it is extremely anti-feminist and against all women's interests to criticize these women for their choices in terms of putting their careers on hold, embracing their sexuality, and their marriages. By saying Beyonce and Michelle Obama can't be a feminist because of who she is married to, we have now categorized a woman yet again by her marriage. Both of these women happen to be married to successful males in their own right; but they are also extraordinary women in their own right. I believe it is anti-feminist to be anti-male-- if w are telling men they must be more accepting of successful wives, how can we tell women they must avoid having successful spouses because it diminishes their accomplishments? I believe it is anti-feminist to demean a woman's accomplishments--just because Michelle Obama chooses to support her husband and friend when he needs it by choosing to put her career on hold does not diminish her feminism. Rightfully, I would expect that if the time came her husband would do the same for her. That is the aim of feminism. Equality and choice. Finally, these women may be in a different financial and socioeconomic situation than the average American, but should we shun them from feminism or embrace the fact that there are people in power who are feminists? That is definitely a good thing.

We are all people, we are all complicated. We cannot expect our feminist icons to be perfect, or we will have a very difficult time having feminists to inspire the generations. Let's stop wasting time arguing over the details of these women's lives as being anti-feminist, and instead celebrate the fact that they are embracing feminism. 

"Do You Use Uptalk?"

This video really highlights how the smallest things can have an impact in the gender workplace gap. One of the most notable discussion points is that the study found the more successful a woman is, the less confident she is, while the opposite is true for a man. Uptalk, which is merely intonation of speech, can have a profound effect on how people perceive the speaker's message. Imagine if more women were aware of this pattern, and actively stopped themselves from following it. Minor, individual changes are just as important in the grand scheme of things as larger campaigns. 

Women in the Workplace

Perhaps one of my favorite lines from the book Lean In by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg is 

"When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a women is successful, people of both genders like her less." Below is a new Pantene commercial that attempts to highlight some of the biggest gender stereotypes women face in the workplace and in positions of leadership.

Sheryl also writes, "We're aware that when a woman acts forcefully or competitively, she's deviating from expected behavior. If a woman pushes to get the job done, if she's highly competent, if she focuses on results rather than on pleasing others, she's acting like a man. And if she's acting like a man, people dislike her."

Pantene also hits the nail on the head by telling women not to let labels "hold them back." These workplace stereotypes are not only an example of how society holds women back, but how women hold themselves back. When faced with negative labels like the ones in the commercial, many women shy away from pursuing careers and leadership because of the negative social pressure. No person with a family would want to be labeled selfish for working, for example, and since this label will most likely be placed on working mothers, it follows that many of them will opt out of being in the workforce.

While the video definitely oversimplifies things, I am glad that Pantene made the decision to air this commercial. More people and companies in power should follow this example by using their power to spread awareness. The only way to change stereotypes is to actively be aware of them and resist prejudgement. Even this small step could begin to break down these harmful and negative stereotypes. 

2013: Celebrating Inspiring Women

Too rarely do we take the time to appreciate the accomplishments we've made, even if we are still keeping in mind how much more we have to do. What better way to celebrate the new year than to take a look back on some of 2013's most inspiring women. This video honestly made me tear up; I am so happy to know that there are such inspirational women out there, many of whom are fighting so hard to  make things better for all of us. Learn more about all of these women here, and make sure to watch below! Again Happy New Year to you all!






Any inspiring women you think the video missed? I definitely think Wendy Davis, the Texas politician who fought endlessly in the Texas senate this past summer in attempts to block a bill that would create many new abortion regulations. Wendy has announced that she is running for governor of Texas in 2014. She is truly an inspiration. What woman or man fighting for feminism inspired you the most this past year?

Feminism: How it Leads to Better Relationships (And More Sex)

Many people believe that the home is the "final feminist frontier." However, I believe that gender inequality in the home is perhaps one of the most if not the most important barriers women face.

One of my favorite chapters from the book Lean in by Facebook's COO Sheryl Sandberg (which Oprah calls the "new manifesto for women in the workplace") is called "Make Your Partner a Real Partner." In it, Sandberg challenges the restrictive traditional gender roles that define many households today. Some unsettling statistics she presents:

"When a husband and wife both are employed full-time, the mother does 40 percent more child care and about 30 percent more housework than the father" on average.

"Only 9 percent of people in dual-earner marriages said that they shared housework, child care, and breadwinning evenly."

So Why Does This Matter? 

Many female Fortune 500 companies say that they "could not have succeeded without the support of their husbands, helping with the children, the household chores, and showing a willingness to move." On the contrary, "in a 2007 study of well-educated professional women who had left the paid workforce, 60 percent cited their husbands as a critical factor in their decision." Well, a woman only has two hands. There is only so much that any of us, male or female, can realistically accomplish. When a woman is expected to do the majority of household and childcare work, it is just not possible that she can pursue her career goals as fully as she would be able to if she had some help.

Break Down Male Stereotypes

Now, if a woman is trying to change this dynamic, one of the best places to start is by breaking down the stereotypes that males face in regard to household work. As with male stereotypes in other aspects of life, males face a lot of societal pressure to be the "breadwinners," and that household work and childcare isn't "manly." Many males who are "stay at home dads" say that it is very socially isolating. Even employment laws encourage this harmful stereotype. For example:

"Most companies in the United States offer more time off for maternity than paternity leave"

"In the United States, only five states provide any income replacement for the care of a new baby…in three of these states, this benefit is only offered to mothers"

Clearly, "as women must be more empowered at work, men must be more empowered at home." 

Why Feminism Leads to Better Relationships

If the concept of equality in opportunity is not motivating enough to pursue more equal division of labor in the household among partners:

"When husbands do more housework, wives are less depressed, marital conflicts decrease, and satisfaction rises."

"When women work outside the home and share breadwinning duties, couples are more likely to stay together."

"The risk of divorce reduces by about a half when a wife earns half the income and a husband does half the housework."

And finally,

 "Couples who share domestic responsibilities have more sex."

Looking Forward

Let's set the stage for future generations. "As more women lean in to their careers, more men need to lean into their families." As we move toward equal expectations in the household, children, both girls and boys, can begin to change their concept of what they should contribute to their relationships and families. 

DISCLAIMER: Now, I understand the above does not apply indefinitely to all women and families. Part of feminism is enabling women to be able to choose what they wish to do, and enabling them to be fully comfortable with their choices. The purpose of this is not to discourage women who have the ability to stay out of the workforce and choose to do so. The purpose is to change the dynamics occurring in households where women are in unequal situations primarily due to negative social pressures. A woman who chooses to be a "stay at home mom" should be as accepted by society as a "stay at home dad," "working mom," and especially "working dad." The idea is equal opportunity for all genders, regardless of choice.

Women in Engineering

According to a 2012 report by the U.S. Join Congress Joint Economic Committee

about 14% of the total engineering workforce is female
about 18% of total engineering undergraduate degrees are earned by females
Females represent 50% of the population. Yet they are vastly underrepresented in engineering, and STEM fields in general.

Some of you may ask: Why should we care? Is this disparity really causing any harm?

Below, Debbie Sterling explores this disparity and these questions in her TedxTalk. Debbie is the CEO and founder of her successful company, GoldieBlox, which creates toys that promote engineering among young girls (I recommend watching the whole video, but if you're really short on time the first four minutes do a good job of describing the importance of addressing this disparity).

As Debbie says, engineers are contributing to some of the most important advances in society. They are solving the biggest problems we face, and creating new technology that can change the world. Shouldn't females be equally involved in this process? Additionally, missing out on half of the population's perspective, skill, and talent, surely means we are missing out on vital advancement and technology. Engineers of all fields are also often ranked as some of the top paying jobs in the country. It is important for both society and females as individuals to reap the benefits that come with having more female engineers in our country.

A few other points: Debbie mentions worldwide testing results that show that girls outperform boys in STEM subjects in all countries except the U.S. She highlights that this means there is a cultural barrier--not something innate and biological about girls' intelligence-- restricting females in STEM fields. What is this culture? Well, that's what this blog hopes to unravel. It's a culture, as Debbie touches on, that teaches girls from a young age that they should be primarily concerned with their physical appearance, fitting into traditionally female roles, and not pursuing STEM fields because those are "for boys."

What do you think about GoldieBlox? Do you connect with the product? Want to buy it for a niece, daughter, cousin? Once again, here's the product link.

Overview: Sexism in the Media

Yesterday I discussed negative male stereotypes, and presented a video from the organization The Representation Project. This organization created a short video titled "How the Media Failed Women in 2013" which you can view below.

For many, the effects that this kind of representation has may not be clear. In reality, the media influences us and especially our children more than most people think.

The average American teenager consumes 10 hours and 45 minutes of media per day.

For many people, that's more that the average school or workday. In a world where media is more accessible than ever, it is logical that media possesses a powerful role in shaping our culture. If teenagers are spending almost 11 hours a day consuming media filled with negative representations such as presented in the video, how can we expect anything to change? This has to stop. We need to get over the idea that rape and the treatment of women as sex objects are necessary themes to sell products. We need to start promoting and encouraging positive advertising. Both male and female news reporters need to learn to stop and think before saying extremely sexist things, and be more aware of the influence they may have on their viewers.

I encourage you to use the hashtags on social media promoted by The Representation Project to help call out both negative and positive female representation in the media . From their website:
"Let the media know: sexism won't sell. Use #NotBuyingIt on Twitter to challenge the misrepresentation of women and girls."
"Use hashtag #MediaWeLIke to spotlight media that empowers women and girls."

The Other Half of the Story: Negative Male Stereotypes

Hopefully many of you have heard of the organization The Representation Project (if not, here's a link to their mission statement on their website). This organization is most known for its striking documentary Miss Representation, which reveals just how much the media influences and contributes to negative gender stereotyping and gender inequality. The emphasis in this documentary is on the negative depiction of females. I have to say, after watching this film, I truly realized the extent to which the media bombards us with negative female images and stereotypes, and how disgusting this depiction can be.

Anyways, the creator of Miss Representation understood that challenging limiting female stereotypes is only one half of the gender inequality problem; and that in order to move toward real change, we need to challenge limiting male stereotypes as well. As mentioned in the post on the TedxTalk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, we need to raise our sons and daughters differently. Just like we need to stop limiting our daughters, we need to stop limiting our sons. We must stop limiting our sons by rigid and deleterious definitions of masculinity. In doing so, we will begin to knock down the walls keeping our children from reaching their true potential. Hopefully, doing this will also encourage better relationships between males and females. If we stop telling our boys that they must disregard empathy and emotion, perhaps they will begin to be more involved in creating a gender equal society.

What do you think? Do we place too much or not enough emphasis on negative male stereotypes?

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"The day will come when man will recognize woman as his peer, not only at the fireside but in the councils of the nation. Then, and not until then, will there be the perfect comradeship, the ideal union, between the sexes that shall result in the highest development of the race." -Susan B. Anthony 

It has been over a century since Susan B. Anthony hoped for this. Men and women have since then fought incredibly hard for progress; and it would be a lie to say that things are not more equal than they were in the 1800s. However, we are FAR from equal. Some stats from Facebook's COO Sheryl Sandberg's feminist book "Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead" (more on this later. In the meantime, a must read!) --

"Of the 195 independent countries in the world, only 17 are led by women."

"Women hold just 20 percent of seats in parliaments globally"

"The percentage of women at the top of corporate America has barely budged over the past decade."

"A meager twenty-one of the Fortune 500 CEOs are women"

"Women hold about 14 percent of executive officer positions, 17 percent of board seats, and constitute 18 percent of our elected congressional officials"

The above is "even worse for women of color, who hold just 4 percent of top corporate jobs, 3 percent of board seats, and 5 percent of congressional seats"

In 2010, average women's compensation in comparison to men was 77 cents to a dollar, as compared to 59 cents to a dollar in 1970. She cites activist Marlo Thomas as joking "Forty years and eighteen cents. A dozen eggs have gone up ten times that amount."

Clearly, there is a problem. As females are actually surpassing males in terms of college graduates, this gender disparity in the workplace and positions of power can not be due to educational differences. Hopefully, by acknowledging this, we can begin to expand our awareness of this negative influences and begin to change them. As Susan B. Anthony suggests, we can only hope to achieve our fullest potential as a company, nation, or even human species, when both men and women are both able to contribute fully. 

A Must Watch: The TedxTalk that Inspired the Title of this Blog

In this TedxTalk, Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie discusses why all people, including men, should be feminists. She gives the definition that is the basis for this blog, that men and women should be equal. Additionally, she touches on some of the inequalities that females experience in their everyday lives. Many females will find her discussion extremely relatable, and hopefully, it serves as an eye opener to both males and females who do not see these inequalities taking place around them. 

Some discussion points:

On the negative associations with the word and concept of "feminist" --  "Feminist is so heavy with negative baggage; we hate men, we hate bras." This is precisely why it is so important to define the words "feminism" and "feminist" in today's society. Negative and misinformed stereotypes prevent the open-mindedness required for any real discussion. 

On the possible biological roots of modern gender inequalities -- The speaker notes that "men and women are biologically different," and that generally, men are physically stronger than women. Additionally, she suggests that in ancient times, perhaps men were suitable to lead, as the best leaders in society would be stronger, and thus more capable of defending their families and communities. This purely physical method of selecting for societies' leaders may have been suitable then. However, physical strength is no longer the determining characteristic of the best leader. Today's leaders need to be the most creative, intelligent, business-minded, etc., and these characteristics are not determined by gender. 

**On raising our boys and girls differently -- The speaker suggests that raising our children differently is the primary method of changing gender inequality for the future (Side note: I very much agree with this. Hasn't this always been a method of social change? It reminds me of diminishing racism over generations. What do you think?) The restrictive definitions we give our children of masculinity and femininity drive the gender inequality they experience in the future. We "stifle the humanity of boys" by teaching them to be afraid of fear and vulnerability. We constantly insist that boys prove their masculinity; we tell them to "be a man" or "man up." We associate money with proving their masculinity. The speaker suggests a better way: why don’t we teach kids it is not boys who should pay, but whoever has more money that should pay? Our restrictive definitions of femininity go hand in hand with our definitions of masculinity. "We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, 'You can have ambition, but not too much.'" We encourage them to avoid being the breadwinner in a relationship, and that they should especially avoid making it public if they are. We teach girls that in a relationship, compromise is just what females should do. The worst thing we do to girls, the speaker asserts, is we encourage them to be women for whom "pretending is an art form." Finally, "What if in raising children we focused on ability instead of gender. What if in raising children we raised them based on interest instead of gender."

**On talking about gender inequality -- The speaker addresses that one of the biggest obstacles feminists face is that many men don't actively think about gender. She notes how a person faced with another inequality, for example, an African man, can be blind to the inequalities faced by women. She touches on the many "cop outs" people use in talking about gender inequality: it's evolutionary (the apes do it!) or it's culture (she says, "If full humanity of women is not part of our culture, we must make it our culture"). These excuses need to be discarded; the first step is acknowledging that there is a problem. We must say "yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today. And we must fix it, and we must do better.”